"You Got That?"

One day a chocolate cherry fruitcake walks into a bar. The chocolate cherry fruitcake sits at the counter and beckons to the bartender. "Give me a double shot of rum," the chocolate cherry fruitcake says. The bartender pours the drink and the chocolate cherry fruitcake empties the glass over its head, pays for the drink, and walks out of the bar.

The next day the chocolate cherry fruitcake returns to the bar. "Another double shot of rum," the chocolate cherry fruitcake says. The bartender pours the drink and the chocolate cherry fruitcake empties the glass over its head, pays for the drink, and walks out of the bar.

A couple of days later the chocolate cherry fruitcake walks into the bar again. "The same?" asks the bartender.

"Not today." The chocolate cherry fruitcake shakes its head and smiles. "Do you have a knife?" The bartender rummages for a few seconds in a bin and sets a knife on the counter. "Take this knife," the chocolate cherry fruitcake explains, "and cut me in pieces, and eat me. And don't forget to share me with your friends and your family too. You got that?"

"Yeah, I got it." So the bartender takes the knife and cuts the chocolate cherry fruitcake in pieces and eats it, and doesn't forget to share it with his friends and his family. And they all agree it is a really delicious chocolate cherry fruitcake.

Return of the Bragging Rights

 Last night I had Danish pastry for dessert. I think it was the middle of December when I made a batch of dough. Per usual one half the batch I deposited in my freezer. The other half met its match in an encounter with some cream cheese and the dregs of a jar of sour cherries.

Ten days ago I lost some dreadful employment and gained some welcome free time. The job was a big disappointment, its loss a big relief. With no looking back I retreated to my kitchen and made a batch of puff pastry to celebrate.

The puff pastry out of the way, the inevitable question arises. What to bake next? I've been poring over recipes, but every time I open my freezer I see the stack of puff pastry, and right next to it the half batch of Danish pastry.  So I decided in the spirit of spring cleaning I needed to do the culinary equivalent. This version is blueberry. And rises all the way to the taste of the cherry version.

Caramelized Onion Tart with Anchovy and Oil Cured Black Olive

Pizza Banda!

Goodbye Macaroni and Cheese

Tonight was the end of the macaroni and cheese. I've been hoarding it in my freezer since the middle of December. Saving the last morsel for a special occasion. Something extra out of the ordinary. But that day hasn't arrived and I got tired of waiting, so I just ate it anyway.

Holding Still

Here's a couple of pictures of the lemon poppy seed pound cake holding still. The recipe is from The Cake Bible. In the same family as the chocolate bread from a few weeks ago.

I add a little pear eau de vie to the soaking syrup.

Lemon Poppy Seed Pound Cake

And the Winner Is....

Back at the turn of the twenty-first century I used to subscribe to Martha Stewart Living. This was a couple of years before the whole ImClone case and the magazine was at its peak. Whatever it lacked in editorial content (much) it more than made up for in visual organization and appeal. The magazine was, in a word, really beautiful. In its obsession with cataloging detail it was also marvelously borderline pedantic, at times downright nineteenth-century encyclopedic. A single photograph might contain forty-five different samples of milk glass, grouped by form, each piece numbered, each number keyed to a date and location of production. No item of possible domestic employment was spared this treatment -- mixing bowls, wrapping paper, candlesticks, dish towels, scotch tape, soup ladles. And to top it off the recipes were reliably excellent.

I let my subscription lapse after a couple of years, and never saved any of the magazines since I don't believe in clutter and the recipes are all available online. But one issue I do keep. February 2000. It contains the recipe for Grammy's Chocolate Cookies, grand-prize winner of the Cookie of the Week Contest. And about ten other outstanding indispensable runner-ups. Or it is runners-up?

I do sometimes browse the magazine -- usually at an airport news stand -- but it doesn't look the same to me. Or maybe what once looked so new about the magazine now looks no longer new, and not in a particularly good way. Still it was a fun time while it lasted.

As for these cookies, they really are the best.